Stressed? How To Deal With Unexpected Stress | And 5 Easy Self-Care Tips To Relax.
Hang-ups, bang-ups, and hiccups happen. Rarely is everything in life going to go smoothly. I think most of us are aware of this and we adjust or sidestep just a little to accommodate. But then there are those times, and I know you know what I'm talking about when life doesn't just hand you a lemon - it dumps a barrel of rotten lemons over your head. You're in shock, you didn't see it coming, or maybe you did but thought you had more time to take care of things before they got this bad. Whatever it is, suddenly you feel light-headed, your stomach drops and you become nauseated. You feel alone in it and sense that big depression cloud coming for you.
Beautiful human, you are not alone. The biggest misconception played on us by our very own brain is that we are alone in whatever it is that we are dealing with, and that's the first thing I want to shatter. If someone has breath in them, they too have dealt with stomach-dropping life events - so that means everyone.
Okay, so IT happened. Now what? Well, I suggest you take a minute to just breathe. Big inhalations through the nose and then slowly release through the mouth. Allow your body and mind a moment to process and catch up with each other.
“When we commit to action, to actually doing something rather than feeling trapped by events, the stress in our life becomes manageable.”
It's easy to panic when stressful situations come about. The following are some tips and suggestions I use to get through that initial rush of stress.
Remember to breathe. Adrenaline is coursing through your veins. You are in flight or fight mode. It's a powerful and important survival mode but you want to make sure you act with purpose and not rashly. Taking a moment to breathe, center, and focus will help you take the next best step.
Reach out to someone. Find someone you trust, or who you know has been through a similar experience and can help support, encourage and offer you advice. I think one of the biggest mistakes is staying isolated and trying to deal with whatever it is alone. There are advisors, 1-800 helplines, and many trained professionals who can offer help and advice for just about everything out there. So reach out to someone and get the support you need immediately.
You've taken a breath, reached out for help and support and now you need to make a game plan. At this point in time, exactly what steps do you need to do to deal with your situation? Write them down. Make a list. Make a detailed step-by-step action plan of what you are going to do to deal with your situation. What are you physically going to do to take care of what needs taking care of? What are you going to do to emotionally support yourself? What are you going to do to make sure your health does not slip during this time? Whether your car was just stolen, or a relationship just ended, write it all down and immediately start following your plan.
I actually think this suggestion is the hardest to implement but very important. Accept what has happened and shift your mindset from a powerless place of "I can't believe this happened to me" to "alright, so this thing happened to me." How can I deal with it in a way that allows me to grow stronger? What do I need to look at in myself and in my life that I can change so that something similar is less likely to occur again? Or perhaps it's a matter of setting up a strong support system so that when life throws an unexpected curveball you know exactly whom to reach out to first so that you don't fall as far. Accepting takes you out of the powerless role of the victim and allows you to handle your situation from a place of strength.
Phew, that was some heavy stuff! Let’s take a look now at some ways we can care for ourselves and help to bring the stress levels down and hopefully feel a little better. In stressful times it's easy to forget to take care of ourselves, yet it's one of the most important things we can do to get through it.
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Take a bath. If you can, make it a luxurious bath. Bring out the Epsom salts, relaxing bath, candles, and a glass of wine or cup of hot tea. Turn down the lights, turn on some music. Take more deep breathes in through your nose and out through your mouth. When we're stressed we tend to take quick, short, shallow breaths so bring that oxygen back into your body as you sink into the hot water and let the heat relax your muscles and comfort you.
Eat the ice cream, pizza, cake, mac 'n cheese. I'm a huge promoter of eating whole, organic, non-processed, low-sugar foods daily. But when your body is faced with more extreme stress it can create an intense desire for comfort food. Instead of creating even more stress by fighting the intense craving only to end up giving in and pounding an entire pizza and then feeling even worse over the guilt and what you now perceive as low willpower, just eat the cake. However, do not mindlessly eat the cake. Your body is trying to work for you. It's trying to help you relax by creating something tangible for you to reach for that it knows will give you a bit of pleasure and lower the stress. So think about your favorite comfort food, what you are craving the most at that moment, and go get it. Do not eat it in a rush. Sit down, eat slowly, and really relish every bite guilt-free. You'll be saving yourself extra stress and at the end of the day probably some calories as well because you'll be less likely to 'give in' and mindlessly binge.
Listen to, watch, or read something inspiring. One of my absolute favorite things to do when I get really stressed is to watch a YouTube video called J.K.Rowling Speaks at Harvard Commencement. We all know who the Harry Potter author is but many do not know the difficult road she traveled before becoming the famous author she is today. I find her story and speech to be incredibly inspiring! Find a favorite book, listen to an inspiring podcast or even search Pinterest for inspiring quotes. There is a lot of content out there, so take a little time to find something that will inspire you.
Magnesium. Magnesium in the body helps to regulate the stress response. Unfortunately, many of us are already deficient in magnesium so our stress reaction is going to be worse than it should be. On top of that, the body uses up more magnesium when stressed so if you're already low in magnesium you are going to be feeling the stress at an amplified level. Taking a magnesium supplement that is absorbed easily by the body can help in managing stress.
Weighted/Gravity blanket. Like getting a big, firm hug, a weighted blanket relaxes the body and creates a feeling of safety and security. It works by reaching deep touch receptors that produce serotonin and endorphins allowing our bodies to feel relaxed and calm. You can curl up on the sofa with a hot cup of tea and your weighted blanket around your shoulders, wrap up entirely in it, or lay down and toss it over you while you sleep or watch a show.
I wish it were possible to create a life free of stress. Perhaps though, the contrast that is brought to light through stressful events and the opportunities for growth are an important part of our personal evolution. We know life will continue to occasionally toss lemons our way. I believe the best way to prepare for it is to have our support system in place, have a game plan template, and a well-developed arsenal of stress-reducing self-care regimes in our toolbox.
xx Sarah
