The One Life-Changing Filter to Boost Your Energy and Happiness
Have you ever found yourself doing things you didn’t want to do—whether it’s attending a social event, taking on a work project, or spending time with people who don’t add value to your life? It’s not that these activities were harmful or wrong; they simply left you feeling drained and unfulfilled.
I used to live a lot of my life this way, going through the motions out of obligation rather than genuine desire. The result? I felt exhausted, disconnected, and, frankly, a little lost.
I’d often attend events or agree to plans, not because they excited me, but because I felt like I should. I’d come home after these outings or finish up projects with a sigh of relief, feeling a little emptier than when I started.
Sound familiar? Over time, I began to recognize a pattern, and it’s this realization that led to a small but powerful shift in how I make decisions today.
The Filter That Changed Everything: Energy vs. Drain
Does this give me ENERGY
OR
Does this DRAIN ME?
At one point, I noticed a recurring theme in my life: everything I did either gave me energy or drained me. It wasn’t about whether the activity was difficult or easy, time-consuming or quick. It boiled down to whether it left me feeling energized or depleted afterward.
It became clear to me that feeling drained was not something I wanted to carry around anymore. This wasn’t the same as being satisfyingly tired—that content feeling you get after a good day’s work or a challenging workout, where you feel accomplished and at peace. Feeling drained was different; it was an emotional and mental exhaustion that pulled me away from who I truly wanted to be.
And so, I developed a personal filter that has since improved my life in profound ways: Does this give me energy, or does it drain me?
How the Energy Filter Can Help You Make Better Life Decisions
This simple question became my compass. I started running everything through this filter before making decisions—big or small. At first, I had to be conscious and deliberate about asking myself this question. But, like any habit, it became second nature over time. Now, I can sense almost immediately whether something will energize me or leave me feeling drained, and I use that insight to guide my choices.
Think about it: how often do we force ourselves into situations or commitments because we think we have to? The truth is, we have more control over our choices than we often realize. By applying this filter, I began to make decisions that aligned with my values and passions, and as a result, my life became more fulfilling.
Here’s how you can use this filter in your own life:
1. Pause Before Committing: Whether it’s an invitation to an event, a new work project, or a favor someone asks of you, take a moment to pause. Ask yourself honestly: Will this give me energy, or will it drain me?
2. Tune Into Your Gut: Pay attention to your initial reaction. If you feel a sense of excitement or positive curiosity, that’s a sign it might give you energy. If you feel a sinking feeling or hesitation, that’s your body signaling that this might drain you.
3. Take Action Accordingly: Once you’ve run your decision through the energy filter, act on it. If something feels like it will energize you, lean into it fully. If it feels like it will drain you, consider saying no—or finding a way to minimize its impact on your energy.
What Happens When You Apply the Energy Filter
Once you start using this energy filter consistently, some amazing things happen:
You Set Boundaries Without Guilt: It’s easier to say no when you realize that protecting your energy isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. By saying no to things that drain you, you create space for experiences that lift you up.
You Feel More In Tune With Your True Self: Over time, this filter helps you align more closely with your authentic self. You stop doing things just because you think you’re supposed to and start making choices based on what truly fulfills you.
Your Energy Levels Improve: When you fill your days with activities and people that energize you, you naturally feel more motivated, focused, and joyful. You no longer feel like you're dragging yourself through obligations, but instead feel a genuine excitement for the things you’ve chosen.
You Experience Less Burnout: This filter helps prevent burnout by helping you manage your emotional, mental, and physical energy. When you prioritize the things that energize you, you’re less likely to feel overwhelmed or depleted.
How to Use the Filter in Different Areas of Life
You might be wondering how to apply this energy filter across different aspects of your life. Here are some ideas to get started:
Social Events: Before agreeing to that party, dinner, or event, ask yourself: Will this leave me feeling energized and connected, or drained and stressed? If it’s not something that excites you or aligns with your values, it might be time to say no.
Work and Career Decisions: When new projects or career opportunities arise, run them through the filter. Is this something that energizes your passions and strengths? Or is it something that you’re only considering because of external pressure?
Relationships: Relationships should nourish and support us. Evaluate the people in your life through this filter. Do they uplift and energize you, or do you feel drained after spending time with them? This can be a hard one to apply, but setting boundaries with draining relationships can be incredibly freeing.
Hobbies and Leisure Time: Even in your free time, it’s important to protect your energy. Choose hobbies and activities that leave you feeling refreshed and excited, rather than obligated or bored.
Final Thoughts: Give It a Try
The energy filter isn’t about avoiding hard work or challenging tasks. It’s about ensuring that the things you pour your time and energy into give back to you in some way. The goal is to make decisions that align with your authentic self and your personal values, helping you live a more energized, fulfilling life.
So, the next time you’re faced with a decision—whether it’s big or small—ask yourself: Will this give me energy, or will it drain me? Let this question guide your choices and watch as your life becomes more vibrant, joyful, and in tune with what truly matters to you.
With warmth,
Sarah Voiles
